


The Joys of Raising Five Boys

by ThePackWantstheD



Category: Rooster Teeth Productions RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M, back ground Character Death, family au, im sorry i dont know Ryans last name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-23
Updated: 2013-02-23
Packaged: 2017-12-03 08:44:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/696430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePackWantstheD/pseuds/ThePackWantstheD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>alternatively titled: The one where Achievement Hunter is actually a family of Five boys raised by papa Geoff Ramsey.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part Geoff

**Geoff**

Geoff buried his head into the pillow as the door creaked open, letting in a burst of screams, before closing once more. The lights flicked on. He tried to ignore whoever it was, but, soon enough, there was the soft pad of feet crossing the floor before there were tiny hands on his side, “Daddy. Daddy, it's time to get up.” 

He tried to ignore it, but the hands were persistent until he finally gripped one. He heard a loud squeal as he grabbed his son by the waist and hoisted the five year old onto the bed with him, holding him close to his chest as he let his eyes close. “Go back to sleep Ray.”

“Daddy,” Ray whined, squirming in his arms. “We can't! You have to drive us to school and then go to work.”

“Mhm, don’t wanna.”

“You have to!”

A smile spread across Geoff's face, “Well, if we have to go to work, we have to play first!”

“Wha-” The boy was cut off by Geoff's fingers attacking his stomach. Ray kicked his legs, laughing at the way the tickling felt. 

Smiles were spread across both of their faces until Ray finally managed to squirm away. He stood at the side of the bed, his hair messy from rubbing against the comforter and a straight look on his face, “Geez, Daddy!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Geoff patted his back, sending the boy stumbling forward. “Get out of here and get ready for school.” 

Ray pouted for a moment before walking out, shouting, “Michael, where's the hair brush?”

Geoff waited until the door shut behind him before he stood up, stretched out his limbs, and walked into his bathroom. 

(-)

Thirty minutes later, Geoff entered the kitchen to a mess of cereal boxes and boys gathered around the island. Michael and Ray were sitting on the left side, both with bowls of Reeses Cocoa Puffs, while Ryan and Jack sat on the other. There was a half eaten bowl of Fruit Loops on the other side of Jack's math textbook and Ryan had his DS lying on the table. 

“Where's Gav?” Geoff questioned as he walked past Ryan, patting the fifteen year old on the back and reaching across the island to grab the cereal box from in front of Michael. He pointed at the box, “I told you no more Reeses Puffs on school days, Mike, and that thing stays here Ryan. I can't afford to buy you another one if you want that car next year.”

“I know that,” Ryan declared, biting his lips as he jabbed at the screen. “I think Gav ran outside, though.”

“It's my PE Semester,” Michael replied. “I'll run better if I'm on a sugar high.”

“Yeah, and then you'll crash in the middle of your history class and your teacher is going to lecture me.” Geoff shot back. He gave Michael a firm look, “Make yourself some cinnamon rolls or something.” 

As he was placing the cereal back on top the fridge, there was a gust of cold air as the door opened and shut. A moment later, Gavin came sliding into the kitchen with his cheeks a rosy red from the chill outside and his coat and gloves covered in snow. The eight year old strolled in, a wide grin on his face, “Morning, guys.”

Michael cast a side glance over at him, “Why are you so fucking happy?”

“Language!” Geoff cast over his shoulder. “I'm not going to keep fucking telling you.”

“You just said it yourself!”

“But that's because he's Dad, Mi-cool~” Gavin sung. When Michael turned to snap at him, Gavin gripped the collar of his brother's shirt and slid a handful of snow down his back. 

“Ah! Cold, cold, cold!” Michael screeched, dancing around the kitchen. There was bumping and shouting as glasses of milk and orange juice were spilled, before Michael added, “I'm going to kill you Gavin!”

“Hey! Stop that!” Neither boy listened to him as they went running out of the room, manic laughs coming from Gavin and death threats from Michael. He tried calling out to them for a few minutes, shouting for them to stop running in the house and to come back to the kitchen. The farther away the shouts got, the more apparent it became that the two of them weren't going to listen to him., 

“Goddamn it,” Geoff sighed, slouching onto one of the stools. “I should have stopped after two.”

Ray pouted, “You don't like me, Daddy?”

“Nooooo,” he drawled. “I like all of you equally, X-Ray. Your brothers are just really annoying sometimes.”

Jack snorted, “You can say that again.”

Geoff rubbed his hand in a circle over his nose, “Jack, get your backpack ready. Ryan, put the DS away and go get your brothers, please. And Ray, put the cereal away, please.” There was a brief pause before the three set about their tasks. 

(-)

Walking into the office, Geoff squeezed the bridge of his nose. It was quiet– a rarity when working at Roosterteeth– before one of the side doors opened.

“Tough morning?” questioned Burnie as he walked into the hallway. 

Geoff sighed, “You could say that. Gavin and Michael are such a handful.”

“They've always been,” Burnie laughed. They walked down the hall together for a moment before he added, “You know, I could take them off your hands for a few hours if you need. Take them out to eat or down to the arcade.”

“No,” the word came out firmer then Geoff had meant for it to. “Sorry, I just– it's ridiculous since it's been almost two years now, but I feel like if they're gone too long I'm going to lose them like I did Griffon and Millie.” 

“It's okay. I can't imagine what I would do if I lost my wife and daughter. Just let me know if you need _any_ help okay?”

Geoff nodded, “Yeah. Thanks, Burn.”

Burnie hummed and patted Geoff's lower back, “Now get to work, Chump.”

 


	2. Part Ryan

**Ryan**

Sitting between Michael and an empty seat in the van, Ryan groaned. He leaned forward and tapped Jack's arm, “Switch with me. I'll let you have front tomorrow.”

“Fuck that,” Jack answered, glancing up as the front door opened, Geoff hustled Ray and Gavin out of the house. “I'm not sitting back there with those two fighting. That's worse then when they're scheming together.”

“Come on,” he groaned. “I have Drivers Ed today, so you can have front when dad drives you guys home.”

“Except I'm not going home,” Jack answered. “I have a project due in Media 2. I'm staying after school so Joel can do the voice overs, then I'm helping him with his math homework.”

Ryan let out a frustrated scream as he flopped backwards into the seat, “I liked you ten times more when you had no friends! You were such a pushover then.”

Jack laughed, “Wow, thanks Ry. All the brother of the year awards to you.”

“Shut up, Jack. You'd feel the same way if you were stuck back here.” Sighing, he looked up at the ceiling before turning his head to look at Michael, “Can't you just leave it alone?”

Michael glared and gritted out, “He shoved snow down my shirt.”

Ryan felt around his pockets after a moment of thought before pulling out a few bills from his pocket. He flipped through them for a moment before holding them out to Michael, “Look, I've got thirty bucks. Get along with Gavin long enough for me to get to school and drivers ed without wanting to murder anyone and I'll by you that new Pony you want.”

Michael stilled in his seat before peeking at Ryan, “Fluttershy? One of the big ones, not those lame ass ones that are the size of Gavin's brain?”

“Yeah, sure. Just chill okay, Mike?”

Michael seemed to think about it for a moment before nodding, “Yeah, okay.”

The car door slid open, Ray crawling into his car seat before letting Gavin pass into the back.

“What's going on back here?” questioned Gavin as he buckled his seat belt, the engine roaring to life. 

“Nothing asshole,” Michael answered before turning away, placing his elbow on the window and his chin in his hand. Gavin looked at the elder boy for a moment before shrugging and leaning forward to talk to Ray. 

“Everyone ready then?” Geoff called back. There was a chorus of agreement before he nodded, “Alright then. First stop, preschool.”

Ryan let his head flop against the back of the seat, letting out a soft sigh as the radio occupied the silence of the drive. 

(-)

The afternoon sun was hot as Ryan slid out of the car and ran into the ice rink with his coat pulled up to his nose. The second he stepped inside, warm air and conversation from the different groups in the rink rushed around him. 

Standing around the door to Rink one were the figure skaters, most of them pretty quiet girls who spoke in hushed tones, but had a fierce competitiveness in their eyes. The door to Rink four was surrounded by loud boys, a few girlfriends lingering around, with hockey sticks and the occasional pair of goalie gloves. The third group stood away directly to the right of the door, standing around the door to the conference room. 

Ryan's eyes immediately locked on a head of pink hair around the door and he shoved through to meet her. 

Ali smiled at him and held out a steaming cup, “Hot chocolate for those of us who aren't inclined to cold spaces?”

“My pink princess,” he teased, relief flooding his voice as he took the cup. 

“You better save me from the turtles,” she answered, bumping her hip against his. “Hey, are you free at noon Saturday and Sunday so we can take range together? If we get one of the good teachers, we can run out to McDonalds.”

“I can't do McDonalds, but that's a good time for me to be out here,” Ryan replied, nodding. She raised an eyebrow, a silent question hanging in the gesture, so he added, “I'm using the last bit of my cash to buy my brother a My Little Pony in return for not being an asshole this morning.”

“Good cause, good cause.”

(-)

When Ryan entered the house, he found Michael sitting in the kitchen with a text book. Ray was sitting next to him with a box of crayons and a bottle of apple juice. 

“Hey! Just the kid I wanted to see,” Ryan called. He threw his backpack towards the fifth grader who fumbled with it for a minute before getting a good grip on it. 

“I'm not doing your homework. You're in high school, I'm still in elementary,” Michael huffed, unzipping it anyway. 

“As if, little man,” Ryan chuckled. “I walked to Toys R Us on my way back and got you that doll you wanted.”

“Normally, I would argue with you about the use of the word doll,” Michael drawled as he pulled the package from Ryan's backpack. “But since you actually got the right Pony this time, I'm not going to say anything.”

Ray glanced up from the picture he was drawing before turning back to it with a frank, “Applejack is better.”

“For the millionth time, Ray, she is not!” Michael replied, shoving the younger boy lightly. 

Ryan laughed as he moved to the kitchen counters, “Are Gavin and Jack upstairs?”

“Mhm, Jack is,” Michael informed, tapping his pencil against his lip. “Gavin's out back with Dan and if he comes in with another handful of snow I might actually kill him.”

“Is he staying for dinner? It's my turn to cook.”

“I dunno,” Ray put in, “but can we have burritos? Real burritos, not the lame kind in a box that dad makes when he's home.”

“Sure thing,” Ryan agreed, ruffling Ray's hair and picking up his bag from Michael's lap as he passed. “I'll start them after I talk to Dan, yeah?”

A large smile spread across Ray's face, “Your the best big brother ever, Ryan!”

“Hey, what the hell, twerp?” Michael objected. 

Ray sniffed and turned away from the redhead, “People who don't think Applejack is the best pony are incapable of being the best brothers.”


	3. Part Michael

**Michael**

Michael slammed the car door shut behind him as he stormed away. 

“What's got your panties in a twist?” hummed Miles as the redhead approached.

“Fucking Gavin shoved snow down my shirt and dad wouldn't let me hit him,” Michael grumbled, “and the only one here wearing panties, is you Luna.”

“Oh breaking out the last name are we?” the elder, if only by three months, shot back. “Man, must have been some cold ass snow to have you this pissed off.”

Michael rolled his eyes, hiking his backpack farther up his shoulder as Miles opened the door for him to pass, “It's fucking snow, what do you expect? It's just more irritating that I didn't get to hit him and get the fucking anger out.”

“You could've just caught him when you got here. Dan and him are always over on the playground,” Miles declared, throwing his hands over his head. “You wanna head over there?”

“Nah, Ryan promised to buy me a Fluttershy if I didn't and besides it's cold as hell out there.”

“You wouldn't hit him even if you could,” a voice interrupted. The two of them half turned just in time for Chris to duck under the arms and start walking backwards in front of them. “You love your baby brother.”

“You're right, I do love Ray.”

Chris rolled his eyes, “Whatever Ramsey. Come on, Linds is waiting for us in the lunch room.”

“Ooh, did she get breakfast? I could use some Coco puffs.”

 

Michael trailed behind the two as they walked, walls that were too white and covered in poorly done drawing passing him by. It was funny to him, the way the school him so much of the hospital. Adults with fake smiles and children smiling because they didn't know what was really going on. 

 

“Mike!” 

Shaking his head, Michael found himself staring at Miles and Chris both boys looking at him with worry on their faces. 

“What?” he questioned. “Is there something on my face?”

“We've been trying to get your attention for five minutes, jesus!” 

“No need to call me Jesus, Chris.”

Miles said, “Are you okay, Michael?”

“I'm fine, let's just go meet up with Lindsey, okay?”

Chris and Miles looked at each other for a minute before Miles started talking about last nights episode of My Little Pony. Michael focused on it, socking Miles in the shoulder when he talked about Pinkie Pie being the best and fist bumping Chris when they talked about Rainbow Dash.

That was the difference between here and the hospital, wasn't it? The fact that here he could smile just a little bit because he wasn't waiting for his mother to wake up. Wasn't waiting to lose his mother when he'd already lost his sister. 

(-)

Michael approached the group, Chris pushing Lindsey on a swing and Miles sitting in the wood chips next to them with his DS, at recess with a scowl on his face. 

“Michael! Will you-” Lindsey stopped mid sentence, taking in his expression, before saying, “Did something happen? I thought you were just talking to Gavin.”

“I was,” Michael grumbled. He ignored her gaze in favor of asking Miles, “Are you free after school today?”

“Uhm,” Miles rolled his eyes up, thinking about it, before nodding. “Yeah but I have piano practice on the corner of Desmond and Altair at four so I can't stay very long. Why do you ask?”

“Some asshole beat Gav up.”

Miles was quiet for a minute, “Yeah, okay. Can you get your dad to drop me off before he goes back to work?”

“Yeah.”

Neither of them said anything else on the subject as Michael sat on the swing next to Lindsey. A bright smile spread across his face as he asked her, “Did you finish your art project? I have no idea how to do that paper mache shit.” 

“Oh um...” she looked confused as she spoke, like she couldn't figure out why he was changing the subject to that of all things. “Well I'm done with the paper mache part. I just need to pop the balloon, cut it in half, and then start decorating my mask.” 

Michael laughed, “Wow, your really good this stuff aren't you?”

“I guess.” A blush dusted her cheeks, “I could help you tomorrow if you want.”

Miles looked over at Chris, holding a heart over his chest, and teased, “Young love, isn't it nice?”

(-)

Michael collapsed onto the couch, his head landing in Jack's lap and his feet hanging over the side of the couch, holding his stomach. 

“I shouldn't have eaten that fourth burrito,” he complained, rubbing his bangs against Jack's jeans. 

The fourteen year old laughed, running his hands through Michael's hair, “You should have listened to your stomach when it told you to stop.”

“They were so good though,” Michael moaned, “and they were real burritos not the shitty box kind.”

“Self restraint Michael. That's the key to not getting tummy aches.”

“Self restraint is stupid.”

Jack hummed as he withdrew his hand from Michael's hair, turning back to his laptop, “I can't help you there, bud.” 

Michael was silent for a minute before lifting up on his elbows, “Whatcha working on?”

“My Media II project.”

“What's it about?” 

“Mhm, well we took footage of Joel playing several different video games and then cut it all together and made a commentary. We're going to submit it to the teacher under the title Jack and Joel Play...”

“Can I watch it?” Michael asked as he shifted, throwing himself backwards so he was sitting criss cross applesauce. Jack was about to answer when Ryan swooped it, grabbing Michael by his arms and placing him on the floor. “Hey!”

Ryan grinned, “It's your turn to do dishes. Go get them done before Dad gets home so we can play a game once he gets here, okay?”

Michael protested for a minute but Ryan didn't seem to be budging on the subject so he shuffled into the kitchen to do the chore. 


	4. Part Jack

**Jack**

The room was quiet. The only noise was the soft hum of the computers surrounding him and the sounds on the computer as Jack sat in front of the desk top with his headphones plugged in. The audio rolled through, just loud enough to be heard, only to be paused and moved or paused and cut or paused and tuned and played again. He was so absorbed in working that he didn't realize anyone else was in the room until he felt hands on his shoulders. 

Spinning around, he found himself staring up at Joel. The other teen had his backpack slung across his chest and his hip cocked with his hand on it. 

“Hey, what are you doing here?” questioned Jack, sliding his headphones off his ears. “I thought you were redoing your mile for Ms. Kisaragi.”

“It's already four thirty, Jack,” Joel answered. 

“What? No way,” spinning back around, Jack peeked at the clock. Much to his surprise it flashed back – 4:35. “Oh, sorry Joel. I hadn't realized I'd been working this long.”

“It's fine. I spent some time messing with Kara and the bowling team anyway,” Joel drawled, waving his hand. “But, if you still want a ride home, you're gonna need to log out. Football practice is about to end so my brother won't be around to drive you.”

“I'm coming, I'm coming,” reaching forward, Jack started the process of exiting out of the all the windows and programs he had opened and moving them back to his USB.

Joel settled into the chair next to him, spinning himself with his foot. They sat in silence for a while before Joel asked, “Do you want to go somewhere this weekend? Like the movies or that new bakery down the street from the library?”

Teasingly, Jack answered, “Are you asking me on a date Joel?” There was silence for just a second longer then normal and Jack whipped around to look at him. “Is that what you were doing?”

He hummed, “Maybe.” Without waiting for Jack to say anything he stood up, “I'm going to meet my brother on the field. See you in the parking lot.”

“Joel! Joel get back-” he didn't get to finish before the door slammed shut. 

(-)

The table was full of noise as Jack settled down with his plate of burritos between Ryan and Ray. Ray was leaning over the table, talking loudly with Dan who held on to every world like he wasn't just Gavin's annoying little brother. It was definitely one of the better things about the friends his younger brothers had made, they were usually friends with everyone else in the family as well. 

 

“Hey, so, Mike said you were a little flustered when you got home,” Ryan drawled, nudging Jack with his elbow. “You wanna tell me what happened?”

“I think-” He stopped, licking his lips as he folded the ends of his burrito, before repeating, “I think I got asked out?”

Ryan raised an eyebrow, “Think? Jack, how can you not know something like that?”

“It's not my fault!” Jack objected. “He was being all...coy about it and when I asked if he meant a date he just kinda hummed and walked out! I tried asking him in the car on the way over here but his brother was there and I didn't want to make it more awkward.”

“He? Car?” Ryan's eyes went wide before he hissed, “Did Joel ask you out, finally?”

“Finally? What are you-?” 

He was interrupted by Gavin from the other side of the table, “Joel finally asked Jack out? Does that mean he's going to be around more so I can make fun of him? He's hilarious! I've never seen someone get more creeped out by a tiny spider bite.”

The whole dinner table erupted in noise as the words soaked in. Ray let out a loud whoop and reached across the table to give Dan a high five, the nine year old grinning even though he didn't actually know what was going on. 

“Guys! Come on – I'm not even sure he actually asked me out, much less that it'd be a good date if I said yes.”

“Oh, he asked you out,” Michael huffed. “And don't you dare let him pussy out.”

“Michael!” Ryan growled, whipping to glare at the boy. “Dad told you to stop using words like that.”

Michael opened his mouth to protest only for Ryan to grab the burrito off his plate and shove it into his mouth. “Shut up and don't question me, you little shit.”

(-)

Jack was sitting in his bedroom, lying across his bed with his arms spread out, when the door creaked open. He expected it to be Gavin or Michael, so he didn't say anything. He assumed that one of them would have said something first. 

There was a long beat of silence before he flipped up, hand nearly knocking over the lamp on his side table, to find his father standing against the doorway. Noting that he had Jack's attention he drawled, “So, Ryan tells me you're going on a date this weekend.”

Jack groaned as he flopped back down, feeling his bed sink as Geoff crossed the room and settled on it, “I'm not even sure he was asking me out, okay? Can we not talk about it?”

Geoff was silent for a minute before asking, “Are you sure?”

“Do you remember when I was like four and you bought Ryan that blow up boxing ring?” 

Geoff laughed and nodded, “Yeah. Your mom was pissed and your brother almost broke my nose the first day we set it up.”

Jack closed his eyes, relaxing in the memory for a moment, before saying, “I'm more sure about this then Mom was about kicking your ass that day.”

Geoff winced before slapping his hand against Jack's thigh, “Then stop cussing and come downstairs. We're gonna play a Mario Kart tournament. You're up against Dan for the first round.”

“Is he staying the night?” questioned Jack. 

“Mhm, who knows? He's either staying or sneaking out the window, because I'm going to kill him if he wakes me up in the middle of the night on his way out like he did last week.”


	5. Part Gavin

**Gavin**

“One of these days you're going to get really hurt, Gavin,” Dan sighed as he dabbed a washcloth against Gavin's bruised lip. “Then I'll have to haul you to the nurse and she'll call your brothers and they'll kill the bullies and then us for keeping this from them.”

Gavin rolled his eyes, his back cold against the bathroom wall. “The only one they're going to kill is me.”

Dan sighed again, “Why can't you just leave them alone? It hurts less if you don't say anything when they take your hot chocolate.”

“That's stupid, I stole that cash from Dad fair and square.”

“Then at least tell Michael!”

Gavin glared, his voice venomous. “You know I can't do that. If he gets in trouble for fighting again, he'll be expelled.” 

There was silence between them for a moment before Gavin stood up. He brushed off the seat of his pants, holding a hand out for Dan. “Come on. We should get to first hour.”

“How'd you get him to stay away, anyways? Usually he'd jump in if he saw you surrounded like that.” questioned Dan as Gavin pulled him to his feet. 

A tiny smile spread along Gavin's face. “I shoved snow down his shirt. He was so pissed that he stormed over to Miles the second we got here.”

“Sometimes I seriously wonder whether or not you're Satan.” Dan declared. 

“If I'm Satan,” Gavin drawled, slinging an arm around his best friends shoulder, “I'm pretty sure you're my hell hound.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Wow, thanks for the comparison to a _dog,_ Gav.”

“Any time Dan-o. Any time.”

(-)

“What happened to you?” Michael hissed, Gavin's jaw held in his hand. The duo was surrounded by other fourth and fifth graders– the elders going out for recess and the younger coming in for lunch. 

“It's nothing,” Gavin tried to protest, wiggling in the hot head's grasp. “I fe-”

“You did not fall!” Michael growled. His fingers tightened. “These kinds of marks don't come from cement. Tell me who did it, Gavin.”

Gavin jerked away, ripping his jaw from Michael's hands even though it left a new set of bruises along his jaw line. “Stop it. Just stop, okay Michael?”

“Don't tell me to stop worrying about you.” Michael hissed, his eyes flaring. “You're my baby brother and if someone hurts you I'm going to-”

“You're going to get expelled!” he shouted. The kids walking past them stopped talking, glancing at them until both Ramsey boys glared at them. When most of the kids had returned to their own conversations Gavin started whispering, “You can't get in trouble again, okay? You know you're on the chopping block, the only reason you weren't expelled ten fights ago is because your grades are good.”

They glared at each other for a while, neither one willing to back down until Michael finally grumbled, “If you don't tell me who the fuck did it, I'm going to kick every fifth graders ass until I figure out who it was.”

They stared each other down for a while still before Gavin grumbled out a set of names. As Michael went to walk away, he called out, “Be careful, Michael, and don't get caught.”

“Obviously not.” Michael shot back with a snort.

(-)

“Dan's coming over.” Gavin declared as he slid open the van door and climbed in, sliding across the seat to sit by Michael. 

Dan slid into the van next to him with a smile and a wave. “Hi Mr. Ramsey.”

“Does your mom ever see you, Dan?” Geoff asked as the door slammed shut. 

“Only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.” Dan shot back. 

“Well, make sure she knows where you are.” Geoff answered. Then, to his own sons, he added, “I don't have to time to stop inside because I left in the middle of something, but Ray is locked inside the house so make sure he's okay when you get there. It's Ryan's turn to cook dinner and Michael's turn to do the dishes. Make sure you all eat and we'll play a game when I get home, okay?”

“Okay.” Michael drawled, focused on his phone. 

“Hey, dad?” Gavin asked, slapping the driver's shoulder. “Can Dan and I borrow some of your camera stuff? We want to film a video in Slow Mo.”

Geoff paused, thinking for a moment before saying, “Yeah, fine. It's in my closet okay? Just be careful not to break anything or else I'm going to be really upset.”

“I won't let him.” Dan joked. 

“Good job, Grunchy.” Michael said over his shoulder. “Now, why don't you do something more useful and get my baby brother a brain?”

“I'm a fourth grader, not a black market dealer, Ramsey.”


	6. Part Ray

**Ray**

Ray was bent over his My Little Pony coloring book, flipped open to an Applejack page, when the screen door opened and Michael, Gavin, and Dan flooded in. His brothers made a beeline for the fridge, but Dan plopped into the seat across from him, leaning over to see the picture.

“Whatcha working on little man?”

“Not little.” Ray objected. “Coloring Applejack because she's the best. I colored you one too, though.”

“Whoa, really?” He leaned on his hand, watching as Ray flipped back in the book before producing a colored picture of Rarity with “To: Dan the Man, From: Ray” in messy purple crayon. “Man, thanks Ray! I always wanted to put Rarity on my wall.”

“She's cool, I guess. Applejack and Fluttershy are way better.”

“Hells yeah.” Michael exclaimed, ruffling Ray's hair as he sat down next to him. “You mind if I sit here to work on my homework, Ray?”

Ray shook his head, concentrating on tracing the outline of the dip in the ponies hip with a darker shade of orange. He only glanced up when Gavin returned and tossed a bottle of Bug Juice over his head, Dan catching it after a moment of fumbling. 

“Lets go outside,” Gavin suggested as he grabbed the other boys upper arm, already pulling him towards the back door. 

Dan glanced back and waved a bit, “Bye Ray, thanks for the drawing!”

“Bye Dan!” Ray called after him. 

Gavin pushed Dan out of the back door before sliding the glass shut behind them. 

Silence rang for a minute, Ray coloring and Michael pulling his books out before the elder said, “I'm going to go put some MLP reruns on the TV until the others get back.”

(-)

Hearing the door open, Ray flew out of the living room and launched himself at Geoff's legs. 

“Daddy!” he cried, rubbing his head against his legs. His smile stretched when his dad messed up his hair before lifting him up, adjusting him onto his hip. 

“Hey big man, how was your day?”

“Oh man, it was so good daddy!” Ray exclaimed. “Dan came over and Jack got all red at dinner because Joel asked him out, whatever that means, and at school Courtney shared her chips with me! She never shares her chips with me!”

“I'm gonna have to check and make sure she didn't give you cooties then.” Geoff teased as he pressed a sloppy kiss to Ray's forehead. 

The five year tilted his head, “What are cooties?”

“Cooties are tiny bugs you get from girls.” Michael declared from the sink, elbow deep in soapy water. “They eat through your skin until you die.” Then he half turned and added, “There's left over burritos in the microwave for you, dad.”

“Courtney's cooties are going to kill me?!”

“Oh yeah, totally.” Michael reaffirmed, nodding. 

Ray was silent for a minute before shrugging, “Well okay! As long as she talks to me lots before!”

“You are too fucking cute, kid,” Geoff laughed as he lowered Ray to the floor. “Why don't you go get Gavin and Dan? Tell them we're gonna play a game after I eat and talk to Jack.”

“Can we play Mario Kart?” questioned Ray, already heading towards the back door. 

Geoff nodded, “Sure, buddy.”

(-)

Ray sat nestled in-between Dan's legs, watching as Gavin and Michael faced off in their first round of the tournament. The elder boy's hands were weaving through Ray's hair as the five year old leaned against his chest. They listened to the muttered cuss words and loud insults the two in front of them were firing off as well as the soft conversation between his elder brothers and father on the couch behind them.

“You know, you should hang out with Gav and I more often Ray.” Dan drawled. “We wouldn't mind.”

Ray shook his head, “Gavin doesn't want me around when you guys are hanging out.”

“That's not it,” Dan objected. “Your brother and I just talk about some really weird things when we're together. He doesn't want you to think he's lame, because he loves you a lot, you know?”

Ray tilted his head back, “Really?”

“Totally.” Ray thought about this for a second before shimmying out of Dan's legs. “Hey! Where are you going? I was just starting to get comfortable.”

Ray didn't say anything as he crawled over to Gavin, who was leening back as he waited for Michael to finish their third track in second place. “Gavin.”

Gavin hummed as he looked over at Ray, “What's up?”

“Will you come to the park with me tomorrow? We can play whatever you want.”

“Huh? That's no problem.” Gavin answered, his eyebrow furrowing together. “Why are you asking right now, though?”

Ray smiled, “No reason, you're just the coolest big brother ever.”

A smile spread across Gavin's face as well and he shoved at Michael's upper arm as the older boy was flipping through to find the next track they were supposed to play, “You hear that, Michael? Ray thinks I'm the coolest big brother.”

“No one gives a shit, Gav. The rest of us know it's not true.”

“Michael.” Geoff warned. 

The boy took a deep breath before glancing over at the younger two and muttering, “Dad is such a hypocrite, I swear.”

“That may be true, but he's a hypocrite who can take away your allowance,” Gavin answered. 

Ray pouted, “When do _I_ get an allowance? I want to buy my own ponies.”

“Ray, you have to do chores to get an allowance,” Michael declared. “It's not that fun, trust me.”

Gavin leaned over, whispering into Ray's ear, “Don't listen to him, Ray-man. Michael's just mad because he has to clean the bathroom this week.”

“Hey, dumb and dumber!” Ryan called and all three boys snapped around to look at him. “Get your laps finished so I can kick Dad's butt.”

“Oh, you think you're gonna win?” Geoff asked, raising an eyebrow.

Jack rolled his eyes, “Obviously he's going to win, Dad. You're getting old after all.”

“Old! Say that to my face you shit head.”

“Hypocrite!” Gavin and Michael sung together, pointing at their father. 

As the argument developed between the older members of the family, Dan sighed, “Man, Ray, what's wrong with your family?”

Ray smiled brightly and answered, “Nothing, we're just a little weird.”

 


End file.
